3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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