yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I will be naked everywhere
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
