she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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