you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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