i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
