guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
