worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
