im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
