You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
