True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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