have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
they need to just BURY HIM!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
