Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
