I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
