Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
