Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
