I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
