Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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