Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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