The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
