just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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