she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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