drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize