I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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