Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
