I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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