she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I would fuck him just for his dog
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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