South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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