I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
