How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
