Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
