I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
