??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
