Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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