She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
