Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
