I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
