The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
