Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
