she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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