I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
