North Korea, Best Korea!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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