So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
