Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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