honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
