This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Pants are for mortals
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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