go do what you do best...puke behind churches
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
