Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
