two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
