So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
