i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
