God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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